I want to deviate from my usual wisecracks in order to talk about
something truly important for a change. As most of you know my alma mater
(and the alma mater of many people who regularly visit this site), the
University of Louisiana at Monroe has cried “uncle” to the PC police and is
changing its nickname from “Indians” to something a little less "offensive."
Even though I disagree with the decision by the NCAA to force change at the
point of a bayonet, I believe we should deal with the situation rather than
gripe about the way we wish things were.
If you’ve been following this story with News Star online, ULM’s official
website or any local news source, ULM has released a list of most popular
suggestions from the general public that it is considering. After reading this
list I got so depressed at the prospect of ULM selecting one of these
identities I wanted to get out my old tape of the 1987 I-AA National
Championship game until I remembered that my sister recorded soap operas
over it years ago. While I don’t blame the public too much for this debacle
because I believe the list was spoon-fed to them by whoever composed it,
ULM choosing one of these nicknames would be extremely shortsighted and
a complete disaster. After all, I’m sure "Devil Rays", "Raptors" and "Mighty
Ducks" all sounded good at the time, yet two of those teams are either
changing or considering changing their names.
In case you aren’t familiar with what names are most popular, “Black Bears”
is number 1 on a list ULM released. And no, I’m not making that up. I’m
totally against anything that would force ULM to change its colors, and Black
Bears would virtually guarantee that would happen. Another popular name is
“Gators”. There would be nothing wrong with Gators – except it seems like
there may be another university that uses that moniker...I can’t think of it
right now but it’s coming to me…hey I know, why don’t we be the Crimson
Tide!
And don’t even get me started on any name with “Bayou” in it. Do you
remember the Bayou Bandits or the Bayou Beast? Neither does anyone else
because those teams failed in Monroe. So there’s a stinkin’ bayou in this
town – big deal. I don’t know about you but I’m not buying merchandise with
“Bayou” on it, and neither will anyone else.
Now that I’ve trashed all the other names, know that I wouldn’t be doing this
unless I had a very worthy alternative that I want everyone to rally around. I
care about ULM too much to want to root for the Black Bears or some other
stupid name. So without further adieu, here’s my suggestion for what we
should all get behind:
The ULM Tornados.
I must admit that my mom, of all people, was the first person to suggest this
name when she gave it to a guy who was getting the opinion of alumni over
the phone. But when she said it to me later, I thought of filmmaker Jack
Horner, who would say, “That’s a great name!” So if you’ve been saying
“ULM Tornados” to yourself for the past minute or so but are not quite
convinced yet, here’s a list of reasons why Tornados would be the ideal
choice for ULM’s nickname:
1. Tornados are common to this area, unlike the “Tulsa Golden
Hurricane." A hurricane will totally wash out downtown Tulsa before you
hear me shout “Go Black Bears!” at a football game.
2. We wouldn’t have to change our colors. The colors of swirling high winds
are open to interpretation.
3. No other school in Division I-A is called the Tornados. I don’t think there’s
one in all of Division I – we’d have this baby all to ourselves. The only
Tornados I know of is Haynesville High School, but Haynesville isn’t even
considered local.
4. Tornados are strong and cause massive destruction. We are going for
something intimidating, right? We don’t want to be something wussy, like
“Owls”, do we?
5. “Tornados” just sounds cool. I’d wear a ULM Tornados shirt any day. And
unlike the other names on the list, I can’t imagine anybody hearing that
we changed our name to Tornados and saying, “Tornados?! That sucks!”
But that’s my opinion. I hope you agree, because we need to all come
together and support one name because if we don’t we’re going to be forced
to root for the ULM Black Bayou Bear Gators or some other equally idiotic
name next year. At the bottom of this column I’ve linked to the ULM mascot
suggestion page – please take a couple of seconds to let them know that we
need to be the Tornados or otherwise we’re going to have a really crappy
name dumped on us. Please, you must not maintain your neutrality here -
let’s all unite to make the ULM Tornados a reality!
https://webservices.ulm.edu/mascot/
Anthony Elms
