I wish I
knew how
to quit you!


Throwing Them a Bone
January 20, 2006



   Hey there T-Boners.  It's been a wild week for me with work and
planning on my friends coming to town.  The feedback I got from the last
two columns have been great.  Keep them coming.  I wanted to step off
into a direction I will rarely go for this week.  I spend a tremendous amount
of time on the Internet and I have come across some great finds over the
past two years.  I wanted to share some of the better sites with you and
hope that you will be as entertained as much as I have.

www.gorillamask.net is one of my favorites.  It has daily web finds and most
of the time, he has a few trends.  He'll give you a daily MySpace all-star to
make fun of.  He'll give you some video clips of chicks fighting.  But best of
all, he gives you little known facts about Chuck Norris.  For instance, did
you know that Chuck Norris walked down a crowded street once with an
erection?  There were no reported survivors.  Along with these treasures,
you will see last years WebTards and a few early entries for this year.  
Boom goes the Dynamite!

www.ihatemycubicle.com is one for wasting time very quickly.  The only
thing I dislike about this guy is his bias towards Chicago.  But it's his blog
and I can't blame him for it.  He bashed my Astros pretty heavily, but then
again, so did his White Sox.  Touché.

www.ebaumsworld.com is updated every Friday.  It contains jokes, some
funny web finds, and games.  My favorite part is the section of prank
phone calls.  Someone took a few soundboards from famous celebrities
and used them to make prank phone calls.  I think the Miss Cleo one is
classic.  But, the Sling Blade one is by far the best.  I like them french fried
potaters.  Mmmm hmmmm.

www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com isn't for everybody.  If you can't take hearing
the F word, you had best not click on this one.  Basically, it's an old guy
from Brooklyn and he gives a 1-3 minute talk on his web cam about
something going on.  He ranges in conversation from Johnny Damon and
George Steinbrenner, to Muslims, to commenting on Brokeback Mountain.  
Funny stuff all around.

www.drinkingwithbob.blogspot.com is another guy with a web cam with too
much time on his hands.  He goes on giant rants about current events.
Most recently, he ranted about the new Muslim Barbie that has come out.  
He updates daily and never really runs out of steam when he gets going.

www.shumpy.com is one of my friend's site.  Cheap plug, but he puts up a
link to the Rock Pile all the time.  So pay the man some homage and visit
his page.  Shumpy Spam is my favorite part.

www.lordsofpain.net is for wrestling fans who want to get more than just
what they watch on TV.  It give insider reports, spoilers to some angles or
shows.  And there are a lot of columns and forums for opinions.  It's
probably the best wrestling page on the net.

http://bobfromaccounting.com/shizzypage40.html is only part of a website.  
But Shizzy's mailbag is the gold mine of this web site.  Shizzy sets people
up with fake emails and hilarity ensues.  Start with the one about
Starbucks and go from there.  That poor guy got everything he deserved.

www.kontraband.com is pretty good for web finds.  Each site steals from
another, so you'll see some repeats from other sites.  This site contains a
little bit more British humor than some of the others.

www.youtube.com is a newcomer to web finds.  This one is one of the best
already because it allows you to use keywords to search for what you
want.  If you want to see Psycho Sid coming off of the top rope and
breaking his leg, just type in "Sid WCW" and you'll get it.  This is one of the
larger databases and you can spend days going through it without getting
bored.  

www.hightechtexan.com brings you a random links generator.  Lots of cool
games and strange sites to go through here.  And when you've gone
through them all, just refresh the page and you'll get a lot more random
links to play around with.  I've wasted a few hours on this site myself.

www.jibjab.com has some famous cartoons that have made CNN coverage.
 It is mostly political humor, but they do an outstanding job with the few
cartoons that they make.

www.liquidgeneration.com is an utterly stupid website.  But I like it because
it has a lot of fun games and some web sabotage pranks.  The pranks are
harmless, but you can scare the crap out of your friends with some of
them.  For instance, ToneBone once got an email from "the government"
saying that he has been documented for illegally downloading music.  I
heard him going "oh crap" and started to laugh, so I pretty much gave it
away.  But at least he felt my wrath for just a few moments.  My favorite
segments on this site are "Movie Poster Game", "Who'd you Rather?", and
"The Andy and Kickle Show".

www.lastcallpoker.com is one of my favorite online poker sites.  It is free
and it's just for fun.  But it moves a little slower than Party Poker or Pacific
Poker.  People are a lot more courteous and don't go all in every hand
knowing there are unlimited buy-ins, also.  

Those are the websites that you can waste some time at.  I hope you enjoy
these as much as I do.  If you have some favorite websites,
please let me
know how I can slip my day into further futility.  

Until then, throw up a "T" for...

T-BONE!
The Bone Pile
Carlos Ray Norris Jr., known as
Chuck Norris, (born March 10,
1940), is a martial artist, an
American action movie actor and
Hollywood star.

A native of Ryan, Oklahoma, Norris
has two younger brothers, Wieland
and Aaron Norris, who is a
Hollywood producer. Norris was born
to an alcoholic Cherokee Indian
father and Irish mother.[1] When
Norris was ten, his parents divorced
[2] and he later relocated to
Torrance, California with his mother
and brothers.[3] Norris describes his
childhood as downbeat. He was
unathletic, shy, and scholastically
mediocre. Kids would taunt his
mixed ethnicity — wistfully he
wanted to beat up his tormenters.[4]
He finished high school and soon
married his girlfriend, Diane
Holechek. In 1958 Norris joined the
United States Air Force as a Military
Policeman and was sent to Osan Air
Base South Korea. It was in South
Korea that Norris acquired the
nickname Chuck and began his
training in Tang Soo Do. When he
returned to the states he continued
to act as an MP at March Air Force
Base California.

Norris was discharged in August of
1962 without seeing combat. He
worked for the Northrop corporation
and opened a chain of karate
schools, which the son of Steve
McQueen attended.[5] In 1963, his
son Mike was born; a second son,
Eric, followed in 1965.

In 1970, his younger brother
Weiland was killed in Vietnam.
Norris later dedicated his Missing in
Action films to his brother's memory.

At a martial arts demonstration in
Long Beach, Norris met the soon to
be famous Bruce Lee, who would
ingrain Norris in martial arts history
forever with his portrayal as Bruce
Lee's nemesis in the Way of the
Dragon. [6]

In 1988, after 30 years of marriage,
Norris and Holechek divorced. He
married again in 1998, this time to
former model Gena O'Kelley, and
she delivered twins in 2001: Dakota
Alan Norris, a boy, and Danilee
Kelly Norris, a girl.

By the close of the 1980s, Cannon
Films had faded from prominence,
and Norris' star appeal seemed to go
with it. He reprised his Delta Force
role for MGM, who had acquired the
Cannon library after the latter's
Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Norris went
on to make several more largely
ignored films before making a
transition to television. In 1993, he
began shooting the series Walker,
Texas Ranger, which lasted eight
years on CBS and continued in
heavy syndication on other channels.


Late Night with Conan O'Brien's
parent company, NBC, aquired
Universal in early 2004, giving
O'Brien permission to show footage
of Walker, Texas Ranger without
paying royalties. O'Brien and his
writers subsequently created a new
segment in which O'Brien shows
short, out of context clips for
comedic purposes. The "Walker,
Texas Ranger Lever" quickly
became one of the most popular
segments on Late Night, with Norris
himself showing up to parody his
show and used his martial arts on
O'Brien.