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July 16, 2005
I want to talk a little bit today about a subject that’s been bothering me as
of late. Retarded haircuts! I frequent a local pizza place that’s also a
microbrewery and local concert venue, so I see a lot of the younger crowd
there. The calzone’s are amazing. The fresh brewed beer is really good
(even by beer snob standards), and the music venue brings in some pretty
big acts (Lamb of God, Goatwhore, Six Feet Under, Killswitch Engage
etc…). And they don’t charge a lot for admission.
Well I have noticed a hair trend that’s apparently been around for a few
years now, and I can’t stand it. It didn’t have as big of an effect on me at first
until I saw my teenage cousin Chelsea with it! THE SWOOP! What is the
to woosh it out of your face long enough to read or do something important
only to have to do it again INSTANTLY! Is it because kids don’t smoke as
much as they did and they need something to do with their hands? I think it’
s a silly trend, and with silly trends you get to see who's the sheep, and who’
s the shepherd.
Another fashion trend hairdo that bugs me is the Dierks Bentley. I bet
you've seen this one as well. Basically if you have curly hair you’re set. You
hairdo. Then I saw several other guys who were in a different group with the
same hairdo AGAIN at the same place in the same night. And yet again
before we left another group of 13 to 17 year-old guys came in and you
guessed it, the same hairdo! Is it that popular? That was at least 10 guys
with the same hairdo in one place in one night. That’s silly and unoriginal.
What happened to paving your own way? I’ve had the same hairdo since I
was a kid…combed to one side. What’s wrong with this style? It’s classic
and professional looking and I think it’s overlooked. I don’t need my hair to
say anything about my personality. I let my mouth and my actions do that. I
know I’m just getting older and hating the local trends like my older cousin’s
probably did with my generation, but I at least never followed the flock. I love
heavy metal music and I always have, but you would never know from my
appearance and it’s always been that way.
I also have to hit on an old favorite in the lame haircut files…the mullet! I
was in West Frankfort, Illinois not too long ago and it was like you blasted me
back to the ‘80’s. I was sure I was going to see Back to the Future on a
movie theater billboard and hear Rod Stewart on the modern rock station.
I've never seen so many kids with stone washed jean jackets and mullets in
my life. We passed through town just as school let out and I felt like I was
stuck in a time warp watching the kids walk by. Are there places where
fashions move slower than others? I guess so. I just hope it speeds up and
we can get rid of all these poser’s with generic hairdos and get some
originality back. LONG LIVE THE SHEPHERD’S LEADING THE FLOCK!
Robert Neal Tyson
Contact Me
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Splitting Hairs
Entertainment
deal with this haircut? You’ve seen it, I’m sure. It’s where
someone’s bangs hang down in front of one eye and part
of their face. It apparently makes you look like a tortured
artist or something. I hate it immensely. How can you drive
with this hair in your face? How can you have depth
perception to walk and do simple tasks with one eye
obstructed by a huge tuft of hair dangling in your face like a
horse’s mane? Why would you get this haircut only to have
Famous people who have worn a
mullet
Andre Agassi - American tennis
player, wore a mullet in the early 90s
David Bowie - used a mullet by early
70's, when characterized as Ziggy
Stardust
Richard Dean Anderson - star of
MacGyver
Laurent Brochard - French
Professional Cyclist, winner of the
1997 World Cycling Championship
Peter Clements - Gay 1980s Culture
Journalist
Billy Ray Cyrus - American country
singer - incorporated the cutting of his
famous mullet into an episode of his
television series Doc
Dennis Eckersley - former Baseball
player
Mark Gastineau - American Football
player
Jason Gillespie - Australian Test
cricketer
David Hasselhoff - star of Baywatch
and Knight Rider
Jaromir Jagr - Hockey player
Randy Johnson - Baseball player
Kevin Keegan - Football player in the
1970s, now a manager (he no longer
has one)
Ashton Kutcher - Occasionally has
one
Dennis Lillee - Australian Test
cricketer
Miyavi - Japanese Rock Musician and
former member of the J-Rock band
Dué le Quartz
Dennis Miller - He had one through
most of the '90s until he grew a beard
Don Niam - star of Undefeatable
Gérard Klein - French actor. Wore a
mullet in the movie Diesel that is
sometimes used as mockery against
him.
Brad Pitt - American actor
Mel Gibson - American actor. Wore a
mullet during the late 80's and Lethal
Weapon series.
Pat Sharp - Presenter on children's
television in the United Kingdom
Solid Snake - Star of Metal Gear Solid
Naked Snake - Star of Metal Gear
Solid 3 and villain of Metal Gear 2
Latrell Sprewell - NBA Player, perfect
example of a corn-row mullet
Peter Stringfellow - aging London
nightclub owner
Jerry Trimble - in The Master
Chris Waddle - 1980s Soccer player
Brock Sampson - Character from the
television show The Venture Brothers
Kevin Nash - pro wrestler
Shawn Michaels - pro wrestler
Dwayne Schintzius - former basketball
player
Scott Hall - pro wrestler
John Kruk - baseball player
James Hetfield - musician; lead
singer and lead guitarist for Metallica.
Hetfield's cutting of his mullet was
taken by many fans as a sign that he
had sold out.
hide - Japanese musician and former
member of the J-Rock bands X Japan,
Zilch and hide with Spread Beaver.
Keith York - Drummer and Stunt Man
Chuck Norris - American actor who
caracterizes in fighting/action movies.
Many baseball players, professional
wrestlers, and musicians wore mullets
in the early 1990's.
just let it grow out and give it a good pick out until
it looks like you didn’t do crap to your hair this
morning and go. My cousin Zach falls into this
group as well. I didn’t notice how prominent it’s
become until recently. I went to play mini-golf and
ride some go-carts with my wife and there was a
group of 3 or 4 guys and ALL of them had this
Vino's is Little Rock's original brewpub
serving handcrafted ales, pizza,
calzones, and is not only Arkansas'
premiere alternative entertainment
venue, but is also a great restaurant.
