"Mikey Likes It" Movie Review

February 10, 2006

It's that time again T-Boners for a movie review. I've often been accused of
being Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials in that "I hate everything".
Although I do come across as a cynic most of the time, I'd like to put that to
the test with this edition of the movie review. I have watched more movies
in the last few weeks than I normally do, so I'll have a larger scale to judge
upon.

White Chicks - Being the pessimist that I am, I had zero desire to see this
one. At Kitty's beckoning, I watched it and laughed my butt off. The
Wayans family can be absolutely hilarious at times. Seeing them poke fun
at the Hamptons-style white society was priceless. It was so good, I
watched it a second time, but with my dad. He had his reservations, but
ended up making me TiVo it during lunch so he wouldn't miss the rest of it.
If he likes it, it must be worth a shot.

Chronicles of Narnia - After seeing the preview to this in the theater, I
knew I was going to see it. I remember the cartoon from the 80's and I
loved it. I thought the children in this movie were kind of wimpy, but the
story line and the scenery more than made up for it. I give this one a nod,
but it's no Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

Fun with Dick and Jane - Not an Oscar winner by any means, but this
one was fun. Jim Carey is typically good as long as he stays in the genre
of comedy (although I enjoyed Truman, Majestic, and Eternal Sunshine). I
normally can't stand Tea Leoni, but she kept relatively tame and it worked
out. It's a good movie just to pass the time and you should wait for it to
come out to DVD.

Millions - Ebert said this movie isn't a kids movie, but it sure feels like it.
The kid is VERY strange and has delusions of talking to Saints. He finds a
wad of stolen money and starts doing what the saints tell him to do with it.
My biggest problem is that it takes place in England and the money isn't
over 300 pounds. So why is it called "Millions"? If they wanted it to be
"Millions", then make it a few million dollars in the USA.

Flight Plan - Of all the people I've talked to about this movie, I'm the only
one who hated it. Honestly, this movie bored the ever loving crap out of
me. I have a problem with hostage movies sometimes. I feel like the
director has taken me hostage and I'm forced to watch a movie that takes
place in the same setting the entire time. That's how I felt about this one. I
didn't feel like the "swerve" in the movie was that compelling and I could
see it a mile away. Even if you I didn't see it coming, I'm not sure I would
have cared. Just bad all around in my book. But then again, other people
liked it.

Red Eye - This falls in the same category in that it is a hostage movie
taking place on an airplane. However, I LIKED this movie. Not all of the
action took place on the plane and what did happen on the plane was
pretty exciting.

The Notebook - Staying with Rachel McAdams, this is a love story that
every girl on the planet has cried to if they have seen it. I have no problem
with "chick flicks" if there is really a story to tell. And that holds up with this
movie because I watched it the whole way through and it kept my interest
all the way. They don't go over the line with how much they love each
other and it plays out the way that it should. There wasn't anything that
made you want to kill the writer or director for tearing the viewers' hearts
out. And to top that off, I'd watch it again.

Madagascar - When we were told this would be the next Shrek or Ice
Age, whoever said that lied. This felt like the same old tired jokes and the
only thing that kept me watching the movie were the penguins. Just to get
the sales of the DVD up, they made a short movie starring the penguins as
a DVD extra. I'm sure the kids like it, but it's nothing special at all.

March of the Penguins - No, this is not the short movie to which I just
referred. In fact, if you've never heard of this movie, stop reading now.
You've just lost your Bone Pile reading privileges. Now then, this is a
documentary about the penguins in Antarctica and their mating season.
It's actually pretty good. I wouldn't watch it again, but it is very educational
and more entertaining than most of the stuff you see on PBS. I'll say this:
If I'm wrong and reincarnation does exist, please don't let me come back as
a penguin in Antarctica.

Must Love Dogs - I never really had a desire to watch this one because
the name of the movie is stupid enough. But, there was nothing at
Blockbuster so I gave it a whirl. Stealing a line from This is Spinal Tap,
"This movie received only a 2 word review: Shit Sandwich."

Two For the Money - Surely Pacino and McConaughey wouldn't suck it
up in a movie about sports and gambling, right? Right. This movie is
inspired by a true story and I thought it was awesome. Maybe I was in the
right mood since football season just ended and I needed one more
football fix. Maybe it's because I'm not a gambler, but understand it and
can still appreciate the brutality of how it affects people. Either way, this
one is entertaining.

River King - I liked this one up until the very end. I don't have a problem
with the ending to the plot itself, but the last scene just bothers me. I asked
myself "why?". I'm not going to ruin anything and if you are wondering what
I am talking about, just email me. I recommend watching this one, but I
hope I'm not the only one who thought they sold out in the end.

Sommersby - Believe it or not, I had never seen this one. I guess when it
came out I figured it would just be another love story with Richard Gere and
I passed on it. I give Kitty credit for suggesting this one. Let me start by
saying I'm not a huge fan of Gere or Jodie Foster. They are ok, but
nothing special. But they were good in this movie and I liked the entire
premise of it.

An Officer and a Gentleman - I had accidently picked this one up when I
meant to watch Sommersby. This was a good mistake because I enjoyed
watching this one, too. What I really liked was David Keith, who will forever
be Jack Parkman from Major League 2 in my book. Aside from that, the
movie is a bit slow at times, but not too bad. Still, despite Gere's average
performance, I liked the movie. On a second note, Debra Winger is one of
those actresses that can look totally hot in one scene and dog ugly in the
next. That can lead up to embarrassing moments when hanging out with
your friends where one scene you look at your buds and say "Yeah, I
would..." but then in the very next scene, a few razzing comments leave you
in total regret for ever saying anything at all.

Hearts in Atlantis - I figured a Stephen King book-turned-movie and
Anthony Hopkins couldn't be a bad thing. I figured wrong again. Hopkins
comes across as the creepy old guy to me and says weird off the wall crap
everytime you blink. Yet, for some reason, this kid falls in love with him
(not in a gay way). The only thing that this movie accomplished was that
no matter how you feel about anything else, EVERYONE will hate the crap
out of the mom in this movie. Kitty was hoping she'd die, but I figured that
was too humane. This woman needed to get hit by a train and left
quadriplegic. If you need to haze someone, lock them in a room, tie them
up, and force them to watch this movie a few times.

Bubbleboy - I never even realized Jake Gyllenhaal was the star in this
movie. Now famous for playing a gay cowboy, I'd rather remember him as
Donnie Darko than anything else. But in a completely opposite role from
Donnie in a movie that came out in the same year, he plays a boy who lives
in a plastic bubble. He is forced to go out into the world and he encounters
some very odd people along the way. It's crazy, but no crazier than Pee
Wee's Big Adventure. And you have to love a movie that can end with
the last two words being Poonani, Poonani.

Timeline - What can you expect from a movie staring Paul Walker? A big
bowl of sucktitude, supersized. This one was so painful, I cut it off 40
minutes into it.

Bonfire of the Vanities - This is one that slipped through the cracks a
long time ago. I just never got around to watching it. It's not a great movie,
but it shows some of the earlier talents of Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis, and
Melanie Griffith (if you want to call her talented). It's worth a watch.

Freddie Got Fingered - Sometimes I just get in the mood to watch a
stupid movie. This one does the trick. Tom Green isn't the highlight of the
movie, despite his "Backwards Man" and "Daddy Would you Like Some
Sausages" bits. Rip Torn had me cracking up in every scene he took part
in. I never watched "The Larry Sanders Show" because I didn't have HBO,
but I'm willing to bet that he was the real reason people watched it.

So that gives me 13 movies with positive feedback. I give bad feedback on
6 and I remain neutral on River King. All in all, I'm not the cynic I'm made
out to be. For feedback or questions, you know how to reach me.
vwbeetleman@yahoo.com

'Til next time, throw up a "T" for...

T-BONE!






	The River King (2005) Abel Grey is sent to investigate the death of a boy from an exclusive local school, who is found floating in the river. Fearing scandal, the school insists it was suicide. But after discovering from the boy's girlfriend, Carlin, that he was being badly bullied, Abel suspects that a dangerous schoolboy initiation has gone horribly wrong, and he secretly solicits the help of a sympathetic teacher, Betsy. His boss warns him off the investigation, as the school is a generous benefactor to the police benevolent fund. Abel, however, cannot let the case go, not only because his own brother committed suicide years before but also it seems that the spirit of the dead boy is leaving them clues as to what really happened that night.



		Penguins on Film 3-2-1 Penguins! was a series of Christian animated videos for children. The series was produced by Big Idea Productions, the makers of VeggieTales, and its stories featured lessons from the Bible. Chilly Willy is the name of an animated character in Walter Lantz's series of theatrical shorts. ([5]) The animated film Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers features a ruthless criminal penguin named Feathers McGraw. The protagonist of the dialogue-less Swiss animation Pingu, which has been running since 1982, is a penguin. There were 4 penguins (Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private) featured as prominent (although not the main) characters in Dreamworks' 2005 animated film Madagascar. They were featured again as main characters in a short Christmas special, The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper. Private leaves the zoo to find a present for Ted the polar bear and is captured by an old NY lady. The other penguins must rescue him. One of the main villains of the movie Batman Returns was the Penguin who, in the film, was raised by penguins. In this movie he also formed an army of penguins to attack Gotham city. Their equipment included back mounted rockets and laser eye sights. The anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion featured Pen-Pen, a pet/mascot. The documentary March of the Penguins (2005) details a year in the life of a colony of Emperor Penguins mating, giving birth, and hunting for food in the harsh continent of Antarctica. The movie Billy Madison featured a penguin that was a nemesis of Adam Sandler's character. There was a penguin character named Wheezy in Disney's Toy Story 2. He would later make a cameo appearance at the beginning of the direct-to-video Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins. Martini the penguin is a major supporting character in the Christmas television special Olive, the Other Reindeer. He earns his living selling fake watches. Mr Forbush and The Penguins (Mr Forbush and The Penguins at The Internet Movie Database) The penguin is Jack's power animal in Fight Club. The Tender Tale of Cinderella Penguin is a ten minute animated film based on the story of Cinderella, featuring a cast of medieval penguins. It was directed by Janet Perlman and produced by the National Film Board of Canada. Happy Feet is an upcoming movie featuring penguins, released under Warner Bros. Blue Planet: Seas of Life features penguins in their arctic segment.