Late Summer Movie Review

August 24, 2006

Well T-Boners, I have been a horrible columnist this month. It's been at
least a few weeks since I've written. I'd like to blame it solely on being super
busy at work, but I've again had DSL problems. You don't want to hear
about that though, so it's on with the movies I've checked out recently.

V for Vendetta - The screenplay is from the creators of The Matrix, the
Wachowski Brothers, and it shows. It's not so much

Clerks II - Lucky for me, I went into this movie with low expectations. It's
not that I didn't think it had the capability to be good, I just set myself up for
disappointment since I loved the original Clerks so much (as I did every
other Jay and Silent Bob movie). I think they stayed true by casting the
original Dante and Randal. Say what you want about their acting skills, but
Randal might be the best Kevin Smith character of all. This movie wasn't
perfect, as it had it's awkward and predictable scenes in it and the ending
dragged a bit. But overall, it made me laugh really hard the majority of the
time. I pass this one easily with my stamp of approval, which is probably
worth very little to Hollywood, but a lot to those who know me.

The Matador - If for nothing else, I liked this movie because I saw Pierce
Brosnan in a way I'd never seen him before. Instead of the hunky action
hero or creepy limey that he's always cast as, he is an emotionally wrecked,
quirky assassin. He pulls the role off perfectly and Greg Kinnear is an
excellent compliment, as he usually is.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - Man was I surprised at this one. I had ZERO
expectations for this one and it may just be my favorite movie of this review.
Val Kilmer as a smart-ass gay guy, perfect. But even better, I think Robert
Downey, Jr. has found himself again. He was perfect as a complete
dumbass in a bad situation. Honestly, I have never enjoyed a Robert
Downey, Jr. movie more. I really liked this movie and I can't wait to watch it
again.

Syriana - Honestly, hated this movie. It's not that it was too deep for me,
because I GOT it. It just bored the ever-loving crap out of me and by the
end, I just didn't give a crap who died or not. Are we the bad guys or are
they? By the end, again, I just didn't care. The movie dragged and jumped
around too much for me to be patient enough to watch it in one sitting. It's
bad when it takes 3 attempts to finish a movie, isn't it?

Million Dollar Baby - I just got around to watching it because some
jackass on the radio ruined it for me when it first came out. Thanks, dick!
Despite knowing the ending, I enjoyed the movie. Maybe it's because I truly
enjoy boxing and I liked the concept of the movie. Maybe it's because Kitty
and I couldn't quit commenting on how much Clint Eastwood looks and
sounds like Voldemort these days. Come to think of it, I think the latter is
actually the reason. Check it out, I am so serious.

Underworld: Evolution - I loved the first one. The second was more of
the same. Save it for a day where there's nothing else in the store. Kate
Beckinsale in leather is never a bad thing.

Freedomland - So bad, I almost forgot what it's about. Julianne Moore's
character drove me absolutely insane. If you thought that The Forgotten
was bad, this may outdo it. I am trying to think back to a time where I
actually enjoyed her as an actress. Her small part in The Big Lebowski
was tolerable. I could even tolerate her in Boogie Nights. Other than
that, she's pretty bad. I wonder what kind of dirt she has on Hollywood
producers.

The Omen - This is the remake, not the original.

catching any ZZZ's some night. The only place they did okay in casting was
Mia Farrow as the nanny. If you make the mistake of watching this, you will
know what I mean.

Rumor Has It - Sucked. Didn't even finish it. Shirley MacLaine was the
only character worth watching and she was very limited in what I saw of it.
I'd like to point out that I cannot think of one movie that was worth a crap
that had Mark Ruffalo in it. Just an observation.

The Pink Panther - Steve Martin is greatness. There was a time when I
thought he was getting as stale as Chevy Chase. I was wrong. This could
put him back on the map. I still find myself talking like him. That's good for
the movie, bad for everyone who knows me.

I'm glad that Vin Diesel tried branching out and showing a different side of
himself.

The Hills Have Eyes - I'm a sucker for movies like this. I'll admit that it
was just strange enough and creepy that I liked it. It's not strange and
stupid like Cabin Fever (check list of worst movies ever). It's one of those
movies where you actually feel helpless with the people in the flick because
you feel for them being in the defenseless position they are in. I thought it
was greatness.

Hoodwinked - Hated it.

Match Point - I generally hate Woody Allen. I just think he's a whiny bitch
and he talks in circles. Luckily, he only wrote and directed the movie,
rather than acted in it. This movie is very dark and twisted. Watch it
closely and you will get way more out of it. I loved this movie and would
watch it again easily.

Wolf Creek - Again, I am a sucker for movies like this. However, the
characters in this movie kinda sucked, except for the bad guy. The
protagonists were kinda weird and I really didn't mind if they died or not. At
least the bad guy had personality.

Hostel - It wasn't quite what I was expecting and I am overall disappointed
in it. But when I think back, it really wasn't that bad. I think I just had higher
expectations and held that against it.

Memoirs of a Geisha - Ah, the cinematography

Tristan + Isolde - I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was called
Romeo and Juliet. In actuality, it's not as similar as the comparison makes it
out to be. It's still a love tragedy though, and who likes those?

The Family Stone - Sarah Jessica Parker in this film at first reminds me of
my former sister-in-law. She was bitchy and cold and that made the family
not like her. In the middle of the movie, SJP at least makes an effort to get
the family to genuinely like her, which is where the similarity to my former
sister-in-law ends. The movie is kinda blah and I really don't recall much
that stands out. Rainy day flick.

Aeon Flux - I wasn't a fan of the cartoon back in the day. But I liked this
version and not just because it's Charlize Theron in leather (I do like the
trend Hollywood is starting to go with, however). I think the movie made
sense and they took a simple concept from the cartoon and made it work
on the big screen. The special effects were good, but not over the top.

Inside Man - This held my interest from start to finish. I've really become
a Clive Owen fan over the last few years. Denzel Washington has
impressed me ever since Man on Fire and Training Day. Before that, I
feel he was mailing it in. Even Jodie Foster showed a side that I haven't
seen before. The movie is well written and put together. It's a great way to
pass two hours.

Elizabethtown - I watched this one despite my best judgement. First off, I
do not think that Kirsten Dunst is hot/cute. Her mannerisms in this movie
drove me insane. Orlando Bloom is a weird cat in this movie, as well.
There may have been one funny scene in the flick, and believe it or not, I
think it was Alec Baldwin who brought that on. Who knew that a guy who
has appeared in SNL for 12 times during the shitty years knew how to be
funny?

Grandma's Boy - I saved this one for last. I thought this movie would
absolutely suck. I was wrong. I laughed so hard at this movie. I know it's

There you have it. Looks like my recommendations are Grandma's Boy,
Match Point, and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Avoid Elizabethtown,
Hoodwinked, Syriana, and Rumor Has It.

Til next time...

T-BONE!

Robert Downey Jr. (born April 4,
1965) is an American actor and
musician. Downey, Jr. was born in New
York City, New York. He is the son of
Elsie and director Robert Downey Sr.
Downey Jr.'s father was born with the
surname Elias, and is half Irish and half
Jewish while Downey Jr.'s mother is half
Scottish and half German.

His first film role was playing a puppy in
his father's film POUND (1970).

Having appeared in several small film
roles from an early age, at 20 he joined
the cast of Saturday Night Live, but
only appeared there for one season. He
went on to star in The Pick-up Artist in
1987. The same year, he portrayed the
drug-addicted rich boy in Less Than
Zero, a role that proved prophetic. In
1992 Downey starred as Charlie
Chaplin in Chaplin, a role which
garnered him an Academy Award
nomination for Best Actor. His other
films include Only You, Natural Born
Killers, and Restoration, a film
adaptation of Rose Tremain's novel of
the same name.

In 2000, he became an acclaimed
regular on the television series Ally
McBeal. He won a Golden Globe
award for his work on the show and was
also nominated for an Emmy. He also
appeared as a writer and singer on
Vonda Shephard's Ally McBeal: For
Once in My Life album and sang in a
duet with Sting on The Police's "Every
Breath You Take" hit dating from 1983.

Downey, Jr. appeared in Elton John
video "I Want Love" in 2001. On
November 23, 2004, he released his
debut musical album "The Futurist" on
Sony Classical, for which he designed
the cover art. He was invited to open
for Duran Duran in 2005. He had to
decline the offer due to film
commitments.

He works on a regular basis again, with
three movies released in 2005 and
seven announced for 2006. Among
them are the already-released Kiss Kiss,
Bang Bang, Good Night, and Good
Luck., The Shaggy Dog, and A
Scanner Darkly, as well as the
upcoming Zodiac, and Fur.

Downey, Jr. dated actress Sarah
Jessica Parker in the 1980s, and was
married to actress Deborah Falconer on
May 29, 1992, a marriage that ended
in divorce on April 26, 2004. They
have a son named Indio. He married
producer Susan Levin, (whom he met
on the set of Gothika) in a Jewish
ceremony at Amagansett, New York, on
August 27, 2005.

Downey, Jr. practices Wing Chun Kung
Fu, which he has credited with helping
him beat his addiction.

On June 23, 1996, Robert Downey, Jr.
was arrested for driving drunk and being
in possession of Mexican Black Tar
heroin, crack, cocaine and an
unloaded .357 Magnum revolver.

On November 6, Malibu Municipal
Judge Lawrence Mira sentenced
Downey to three years probation for
weapons and drugs charges. However,
just over one year later on December 8,
1997, Judge Mira sentenced Downey
to six months in jail for violating parole.
Eighteen months later, Downey
returned to Corcoran State Prison to
serve a three-year sentence for a parole
violation again on July 16, 1999.

A California state appellate court
ordered Downey released from his term
in state prison due to a sentencing error
made by his trial judge in August 1999.
An appeals court panel ordered his
immediate release. The appeals court
said Superior Court Judge Lawrence
Mira did not take into account time
Downey had spent in court-ordered
rehab and ruled that the actor ended
up serving more than enough time to
fulfill his sentence.

Downey was arrested again in a Palm
Springs, California hotel for cocaine
and Valium possession and being
under the influence of a controlled
substance on November 25, 2000.

On April 24, 2001, he was arrested in
Los Angeles for being under the
influence of a controlled substance
after he was found wandering in an
alley. He was not charged.

The charges from the November 2000
arrest were dismissed in July 2002 due
to California's Prop. 36. The judge had
determined that Downey had been
drug free for 14 months.

Downey has not had any more public
incidents since that time and has
allegedly remained clean and sober
soon after he said that his father is the
one who introduced him to drugs by
offering him a marijuana joint at age 8.
Downey also has revealed he suffers
from bipolar disorder, also known as
manic depression.






		Stephen Glenn Martin (born August 14, 1945 in Waco, Texas) is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, musician, and composer. In the mid-1970s he made frequent appearances as a stand-up comedian on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. That exposure, together with appearances on HBO's On Location and NBC's Saturday Night Live (SNL) (on which, despite a common misconception, he was never a cast member) led to his first of four comedy albums, Let's Get Small. The album was a huge success; one of its tracks, Excuse Me, helped establish a national catch phrase. His next album, A Wild and Crazy Guy, was an even bigger success, reaching the #2 spot on the sales chart in the U.S., and featured another catch phrase (the album's title), this time based on an SNL skit in which Martin and Dan Aykroyd played a couple of bumbling Czechoslovakian playboys. The album ended with a song "King Tut", sung and written by Martin and released as a 45 RPM single; the single reached the top 40 in 1978. The song was backed by the "Toot Uncommons" (they were actually members of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band). The album was a million seller. Both albums won Grammys for Best Comedy Recording in 1977 and 1978. In these and his two other albums, Martin's stand-up comedy was self-referential, sometimes self-mocking. It mixes philosophical riffs with sudden spurts of "happy feet", deft banjo playing with balloon depictions of concepts like venereal disease. His style is off-kilter and ironic and sometimes makes fun of stand-up comedy traditions. A typical gag might be interrupted for a sip from a glass of water, and just as he was about to speak again, he forcefully spits the water onto the floor. Throughout the 1990s, after Tina Brown took over The New Yorker, Martin wrote various pieces for the magazine. They later appeared in the collection Pure Drivel. He appeared in a version of Waiting for Godot as Vladimir (with Robin Williams as Estragon). In 2005, Martin hosted a film along with Donald Duck, Disneyland: The First 50 Magical Years, which shows at Disneyland until the end of Disneyland's 50th anniversary celebration in September 2006. Martin was also honoured in 2005 with a Disney Legend award, acknowledging Martin's early career at Disneyland and connections with The Walt Disney Company throughout his career. Martin has guest-hosted Saturday Night Live 14 times, more than any other person. Martin has also written two novellas, Shopgirl and The Pleasure of My Company. Shopgirl was later turned into a film (see above). In a 2005 poll to find The Comedian's Comedian, Martin was voted amongst the top 20 greatest comedy acts ever by fellow comedians and comedy insiders. On October 23, 2005, Martin was presented with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.



			Pork chop, pork chop, greasy greasy, we bet their team f#@*in' easy easy!