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Welcome back T-Boners. I didn’t really want to do the movie review this
early in the fall, but I’ve had several people tell me that this year, not a lot of
movies they’ve seen have been worth watching. They asked for my advice
and I had to dig through the movies that I’ve seen recently to make a few
suggestions. Based on the past two movie reviews, you readers should
know whether or not we have the same taste in movies.
A Series of Unfortunate Events - This movie was weird but entertaining.
I was thinking it was going to be a children’s movie. It’s borderline, but I think
it’s a bit dark for children, definitely more so than the first 3 Harry Potter
movies. The premise is 3 children with 3 separate talents become suddenly
orphaned by a mysterious fire. They are forced to live with their evil uncle
played by Jim Carrey. Carrey does his usual stuff, but doesn’t get carried
away. He’s actually pretty good. I don’t want to give anything away, so I’ll
stop there. I’d put this one in the “rainy day” category. It’s worth the hour
and a half to watch it.
Sin City - I liked this movie. My girlfriend couldn’t take more than 15 minutes
of it. But I’m usually a fan of Robert Rodriguez’s style, so I stuck with it. I
“got it” that the movie is a comic book movie. I had heard that the movie was
violent and a few claims that it was too violent. It was violent, but I don’t
think it was too much. Maybe I’ve gotten used to it and it doesn’t affect me
as much. The only problem I had with the movie was with a very established
actor, Michael Madsen. It just felt like he obviously mailed it in. I asked
Tonebone if he felt that way and he totally agreed with me. I’d say I didn’t
like the fact that Josh Hartnett was in it, but they kept his role limited to
maybe about 5 minutes. Good call. Oh, and Elijah Wood doesn’t speak at
all. A big bonus. If you like Tarantino or Rodriguez style movies, this is for
you. If not, you should probably pass.
Eyes Wide Shut - I watched this one at the request of Kitty, my girlfriend.
It's been established that I’m a Stanley Kubrick fan, but for some reason, I
never watched this one. I think it was because every human being that I
know said it was a horrible movie and it was nothing but sleaze. Now I really
can’t believe I didn’t watch it. It’s not nearly as bad as everyone said! If you
watch a Kubrick movie, expect to see some nudity. This one had more than
others, but hey, he knew what he could get away with. I’m gonna put this out
there, I actually liked the movie. It’s strange and I probably wouldn’t watch it
again for a long time. But I enjoyed the movie and seeing where it was
going. If you’ve never seen it and can handle some nudity and heavy
language, go for it.
Ring 2 - Most sequels to movies that did well, especially in the horror
genre, usually don’t pan out too well. Not the case here. Rather than try to
repeat the success and recycle the storyline, they made it a continuation of
the previous movie. They had to suffer the repercussions of what they’d
done. Very well put together except for one part. There’s a scene where a
lot of deer attack their car. They tried to make sense of it later, but I didn’t
really see what that added to the movie. It doesn’t bother me enough to say
it takes away from the movie. You liked the first one? Go rent this.
28 Days Later - I was getting Kitty to watch this one. I own it and think it's a
very original idea. In a way, it’s like a zombie movie, only the zombies aren’t
dead; they're infected with a very contagious disease called Rage. A guy
wakes up from a coma 28 days after a massive outbreak of Rage and all of
London and the rest of England is ravaged. He has no clue what is going on
and gets a quick crash course in survival. The first time I saw the movie, I
had very vivid, violent dreams for several nights. I don’t get that effect
anymore when I watch it, but it’s still a good flick. I recommend this to
anyone who likes zombie flicks or if you are just in the mood for something
different.
Spaceballs - My friends know that I love Mel Brooks movies. I got this one
for $5 and that’s a steal for a classic like this. Rick Moranis as the Darth
Vader parody character Dark Helmet is one of the funniest things I’ve ever
seen. Back in 1987, John Candy was huge (and not just in a fat way). Mel
Brooks already had established himself as a director/actor. Bill Pullman was
up and coming into the movie industry. And Joan Rivers played the voice of
Dot Matrix. But Moranis stole this movie easily. Now, by the power of the
Schwartz, I command you to watch this movie. Prepare for Ludicrous Speed!
Crash - Easily the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. Go to Blockbuster
and you see about 2 full shelves of this movie. There’s a reason they have
so many. It’s really that good. It’s not even the all-star cast they
assembled. It’s the story. This movie makes you take a long hard look at
racism, not an “in your face” way, but a “take a look at yourself” way. I’d say
this movie is comparable to American History X, because it makes you
wonder just how we think about things and how we get to be that way. But
this movie takes a different path. Of all the movies I’m writing about today,
THIS is the MUST SEE of the bunch!
Fever Pitch - What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I’m not a
huge Jimmy Fallon fan to begin with. The only time I cheer for the Red Sox
is when they play the Yankees. Honestly, I suffer from the same thing every
other non New England fan suffers from when it comes to the Red Sox:
Burnout. I was actually hoping the Cardinals would beat them last year so I
could hear them whine and bitch for another 80 years or so. Oh well. Fact
is, this movie was crappy and predictable. Don’t watch it, especially if you
just ate.
Sahara - Low expectations going into this one, which usually means I’ll enjoy
it more. I did. They never really came out and said McConaughey’s
character’s name. Throughout the movie, I realized that his friends called
him Dirk and other people called him Mr.Pitt. Then I realized that this movie
was a Clive Cussler novel brought to the screen, and that’s a good thing.
Cussler writes novels around a fictional badass named Dirk Pitt. I got into
Cussler novels when I was in Jr High and High School. They are a little
unbelievable at times, but what action movie isn’t? I liked this movie and
think it’s a good way to blow some time and not feel like you’ve wasted
anything.
Jackie Brown - Somehow, a Quentin Tarantino movie slipped by me
through the years. I’d never gotten around to watching this one. This has
an all-star cast with Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, Michael
Keaton, Bridget Fonda and Chris Tucker. Jackson is always gold, especially
with a director like Tarantino. De Niro is always a good call, too. He
probably has the funniest scene of the whole movie. Unintentionally, of
course. The movie isn’t Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs, but it’s great in
its own right. Another thing, there used to be a band in Monroe, Louisiana
named Max Cherry. I never got what the name meant until I saw this movie.
There is a bail bondsman named Max Cherry, played by Robert Forster.
The band still sucked.
Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise - I got this as a 2 CD set. I
was buying the original Revenge of the Nerds and this comes as a special
bonus disc. There’s a reason this one doesn’t go flying off the shelves. I
still like it for a laugh here and there, but the original was greatness and
none of the sequels even come close.
Anchorman - I’ve already seen this one several times. But several of my
fantasy football leagues were using quotes from this movie for smack talk or
team names. So, I popped it in and gave it a watch again. The quotes are
great. My favorite just so happens to be something that my softball team’s
shortstop screamed the other night on the way into the dugout: “It’s so
HOT! Milk was a bad choice!”
Longest Yard - This was the remake, with Adam Sandler. Let’s be real, this
isn’t gonna win any awards and to those who have seen both, you know the
original is better. All that’s been said by just about every other columnist on
the Internet. I think it’s a good movie just to watch and waste some time. I
liked it just because I got to see several wrestlers, like Stone Cold Steve
Austin, Kevin Nash, and Goldberg. Bill Romanowski was solid in the movie,
as well.
So there you have it. Most of these movies are solid picks. If you had to
pick one to watch, let it be Crash. If you are disappointed in it, my
apologies. But I think it is a great movie that everyone should see.
Fantasy football is in full effect. In my head to head teams, I stand at 2-1,
2-1, and 1-2. On my 1-2 team, that may be the only game I win all year.
That’s it for me, let me know what movies I need to watch.
Til then, throw up a “T” for…
T-BONE!
“You stay classy.”
