December 2, 2005

    Ah, it's Christmas time again T-Boners.  But you'd have thought it was the
Christmas season two months ago had you visited ANY store in the United
States in that time frame.  First off, congratulations are in order to the Day
After Thanksgiving Classic champions.... The Rapists. The Pillagers put up a
valiant effort, but came up just short in a 35-28 defeat.  And for the record, I
do admit that I was wrong in my prediction.  Whoops.

I took a test online the other day to see if my way of speaking is indeed
typical of my surrounding brethren.  This test was emailed to my by my friend
Shumpy, king of spam:  
http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html

Upon taking it, I learned that I speak 92% Dixie and I was asked if I still use
Confederate currency.  I actually take pride in that.  Most of my friends that
took it scored more towards the mean, but still on the side of southern.  I
guess being a cross between Texas and Louisiana has me licked to talk with
a drawl for the rest of my existence.  

Still, the most fascinating discussion to me is the Coke vs Soda vs Pop
debate.  Several studies have been made and I've seen it mapped out
across the US on what areas use predominantly one of the terms.  I grew up
in Southeast US, so when someone asks for a Coke, I ask them what kind.  I
have a feeling most of my readers would do the same thing and they'd also
probably slap me if I ever asked for a Soda or a Pop, or even worse...a Soda
Pop!

Every time I ever went to a swim meet or a conference up north, people
always made a comment about how they liked the way I talk.  There were
some Wisconsin people that I met that I had to hold back laughter at the way
they talked, but for some reason they loved my accent and would have been
in bliss if I had just talked all night long.  I guess I come across as simple to
them and it's relaxing.  I had to strain my ears to make out some of the crap
that was coming out of their mouths.  No offense to my WI brothers out
there, it's just different.  I did notice them give a slight giggle everytime I said
"ya'll" though.  I think the word they used was "youns", which I understand is
common amongst those above the Mason-Dixon line.

One term that I have found to be quite varied amongst different people in
any area is the word for covering someone's yard in toilet paper.  We always
called it "rolling".  That is a term that is not so common these days due to
"rolling" taking on a completely different meaning.  Other terms I've heard
used for it are wrapping, TP'ing, and toilet papering.  Whatever you call it, I'd
still beat the piss out of someone for doing it to my yard. Thank God for
apartment life right now, because I think I just painted a bullseye on myself.

A few random notes:

I really like the popsicles with the ice cream in them.

Turning 25 did not feel like a landmark birthday.  Just another day actually.

I'm already psyched about the "A Christmas Story" marathon that plays
during the Christmas week.

90% of all stores do not use the word 'Christmas' in any of their
advertisements.  They use the word 'holidays' so as not to offend.  Yet, their
stores are decorated with reindeer, red and green ribbons, and Christmas
(not holiday) lights.  Seriously, try to find a Wal-Mart or Target advertisement
with the word Christmas in it.

TO = BO (Thanks Browns fans)


That's all I've got.  Take it easy and throw up a "T" for...

T-Bone!







"People who speak in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch" - Melvin Eudall
in
As Good as It Gets.


What's the Difference Between Me and Youns?
The Bone Pile
Christo (born Hristo Yavashev,
Bulgarian: Христо Явашев) and
Jeanne-Claude are an artistic duo
known best for wrapping objects and
buildings, as well as other types of
environmental art. Married since
November 28, 1962, they are arguably
the best-known practitioners of what is
called installation art. Some of their
works include the wrapping of the
Reichstag in Berlin and of the Pont
Neuf in Paris with white cloth, and
"Running Fence" (1976) a 24-mile-
long display of fabric strung across
Marin County and Sonoma County,
California reaching to the Pacific
Ocean. Their most recent project was
2005's The Gates, in New York City's
Central Park.

Although their artwork is visually
striking and often controversial due to
its size and scale, the artists have
repeatedly denied that their projects
contain any deeper meaning. The
purpose of their art is intended to
simply make the world a "more
beautiful place" or offer a new way of
looking at an old landscape. David
Bourdon has called Christo's
wrappings a "revelation through
concealing."
A Christmas Story is a 1983
semi-biographical film based on the
short stories of author Jean Shepherd
collected in the book In God We
Trust, All Others Pay Cash. It was
released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

The film relates the tale of Ralphie
Parker, who wants a Red Ryder BB
gun for Christmas and will go to any
lengths to get it, despite adults'
admonition that "you'll shoot your eye
out." It stars Darren McGavin, Melinda
Dillon, and Peter Billingsley. The
movie was written by Jean Shepherd
and directed by Bob Clark.

Overlooked as a sleeper film when it
was first released, A Christmas Story
has become widely popular since and
is now a perennial Christmas special.
Turner Network Television owns the
broadcast rights, and airs it 12
consecutive times over a 24 hour
period every Christmas. It should be
noted that the marathon was played
on TBS in 2004 instead of TNT.

In the year 2000, an authorized stage
play adaptation of "A Christmas Story"
was written by Philip Grecian
(Dramatic Publishing, ISBN 1
58342031-2)and is produced widely
in the English-speaking world each
Christmas season. In 2003, Broadway
Books published the five Jean
Shepherd short stories from which the
movie and stage play were adapted
in a single volume under the title "A
Christmas Story," ISBN
0-7679-1622-0. The stories included
in the volume are: "Duel in the Snow,
or Red Ryder nails the Cleveland
Street Kid", "The Counterfeit Secret
Circle Member Gets the Message, or
The Asp Strikes Again," "My Old Man
and the Lascivious Special Award
that Heralded the Birth of Pop Art,"
"Grover Dill and the Tasmanian
Devil," and "The Grandstand Passion
Play of Delbert and the Bumpus
Hounds."